Much has happened since the last time I was here. I was in my 20s when I wrote my last post and now I’m back, starting the 3rd decade of my existence. Fifteen years ago, I thought I’d be successful by the time I reach this age. Yet, here I am still trying to figure out my life’s purpose.

My line of thought has always been all over the place and I think that’s part of the reason why I can’t make up a certain goal I wish to pursue. I want to move someplace else, I want finish my masters, I want to get married.

There are a lot of things I want but I cannot seem to make the first step towards it. What do I do? I want to move, I don’t have enough money. I want to go back to school, I am not smart enough. I want to get married, I am not interesting enough. I don’t seem to have the means and energy for the things that I want for myself. I live my life on a daily basis. No plans whatsoever. I feel like a stray dog wandering the streets without purpose.

– Lost

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Slip Away

In a world that’s full of strangers, they had reasons to divide us.
I kept trying just to be with you. And the most I was fearing, losing my path from you, happened.
Still, I’ll always remember those precious times with you.

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Singing My Heart Out

Better in Time
Leona Lewis

It’s been the longest winter without you,
I didn’t know where to turn to.
See, somehow I can’t forget you,
After all that we’ve been through.

Going, coming… thought I heard a knock
Who’s there? No one
Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn’t know,

If you didn’t notice, you mean everything.
Quickly I’m learning to love again,
All I know is, I’m gon’ be okay

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah
(It’ll all get better in time)
And even though I really love you,
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to
It’ll all get better in time

I couldn’t turn on the TV,
Without something that’ll remind me
Was it all that easy
To just put aside your feelings?
If I’m dreaming, don’t wanna lie,
Hurt my feelings

But that’s the path
I believe in,
And I know time will heal it
If you didn’t notice, well
You mean everything.
Quickly I’m learning (oooh) to love again,
All I know is I’m gon’ be okay

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah
(It’ll all get better in time)
And even though I really love you,
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to, ooooooh
It’ll all get better in time

Since there’s no more you and me (no more you and me)
It’s time I let you go so I can be free
And live my life how it should be. (and I know, and I know)
No matter how hard it is,
I’ll be fine without you, Yes I will.

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too ohhhh
It’ll all get better in time ooooh
And even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do)
It’ll all get better in time, woah

Thought I couldn’t live without you
It’s gonna hurt when it heals too, yeahh
It’ll all get better in time
And even though I really love you
I’m gonna smile cause I deserve to

Cr: Metro lyrics

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No Frills. Just Love.

No frills.

I am still hurting.

But I think this break-up is doing me some good…
Well, besides the lady mustache…Don’t I look gorgeous?! LOL!

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Seven years,
six months,
ten days.

I am bitter.
I am insecure.
I am depressed.
I know I am still hurting.

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The Magna Cum Laude

The Magna Cum Laude

I really feel bad that I can’t go home to the Philippines tomorrow. It would have been a great time to be with the family because tomorrow our baby girl will be graduating from college.

I remember you telling Mama that I was your favorite sister even if I am cranky most of the time. So before I sleep, let me tell the whole world how proud I am of you. Forgive me for letting the whole world know how intelligent you are.

Salutatorian, St. Mary’s College, QC. Batch 2004
High Honors, Philippine Science High School, Diliman. Batch 2008

Bachelor of Science in Chemical Engineering at the University of the Philippines, Diliman.
Oblation Scholar (Top 50 in the UPCAT).
DOST Scholar.
Petron Scholar.
Executive Officer for Academic Affairs – UP Academic League of Chemical Engineering Students

Gel, you’ve got the whole package. Beauty and brains, they say. But what I love most about you is that you have the heart. You have a big heart for everyone. You are always ready to help. In everything you do, you don’t just use your head, your heart always plays a part and you never forget to enjoy the moment.
You are God-fearing. And it’s funny how you would ask us to pray for you because you don’t like praying to God just to ask favors.
Chemical Engineering was not a joke and I have seen you in your down days of being a student. But you made it through with much diligence that you absolutely deserve all the honors that you received and will be receiving. I know you know how proud we are of you.
I love you. Be very beautiful tomorrow. Enjoy your graduation. Congratulations. 🙂 -Ate Chi

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Just A Break From A Long Hiatus

and so i’m back…from outer space (outside of cyberspace, i mean).

i had an awesome christmas season with the family and friends. as expected, savings went down the drain. lol. but, of course, i couldn’t complain as i just had the greatest time of my life yet. i was able to meet different groups of friends; went to calapan, puerto galera, and zambales with the family; had a nightly coffee bonding with my sisters; partied with childhood friends; attended countless christmas parties; and had a new BIG puppy!

holidays went by so fast (was that really a 36-day holiday?) and i’m back in jakarta in a blink of an eye. as per usual, leaving home was difficult and i just had a sudden homesickness attack last night. but what can i do? i just have to look at the perks of being here like having too much free time to finish a drama in 3-days and update this blog as often as i can. lol. also, i have june to look forward to again as hun is booked for his visit for our 7th year anniversary <3. yay for love.

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Korean Love

Korean dramas and videos are my guilty pleasures. I have developed huge crushes on Korean actors. Lee Min Ho, Lee Dong Wook, Jung Yong Hwa, Jang Geun Suk, Joo Ji Hoon drive me crazy. I love BigBang. ’nuff said. And since several young Korean actors came from groups and bands, I enjoy watching videos in Youtube.

This video made me worship Taecyon. Sexy abs. Hotness overload.

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Thank God for Smartphones

I’m on the verge of going crazy from lack of my daily dose of Korean drama fix. But thanks to the people who invented smartphones, I get to enjoy videos from Youtube through my cellphone. I’m the type of person who doesn’t care much about cellphones as I’m lazy typing messages. I hate how text messages can’t really have the feeling I want to express..especially when I’m mad. Now, since my laptop is useless, I’m extremely grateful to my cellphone. I am even getting the hang of writing new entries through my Blackberry. 🙂

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When Technology Fails

I am seriously suffering! Charger is no longer working so I cannot use my laptop. Faith’s episode 20 is already out and I can’t watch it. I tried it in my Blackberry but it doesn’t support Flash Player 10.1. I am trying to satisfy my boredom watching videos in Youtube but subtitles are already very small and difficult to read. I also tried opening my blog through my Blackberry but it is lagging and hanging. You wouldn’t believe how long I tried composing just one sentence. It took me about 10-15 minutes! So, here I am making an entry using the “Compose Text Message” and will try to copy and paste it on my blog. What pisses me off most is that my A/C isn’t turning on and that I have to try sleeping with the noise of the small electric fan standing above my head! I just hope I can sleep soon. Now, I just have to endure three things: 1. Use the “Jurassic” computer in school to work on my files; 2. Use this phone to be able to surf the internet; and 3. Try to sleep with the annoying clicking sound of the electric fan. If there’s one thing I’m thankful for these technological failures, it’s giving me time to enjoy the books I bought on sale. Hay! Reminder to self: “Sabar, dong.” (Sabar is Indonesian for patience.)

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